A Tale of a scar

Biwom's Scar tales

 

10th of January 2019

A few days ago we had crossed over into the new year and I was so excited and expectant of all the new year would bring; abundance, elevation, and just growth in every area of my life, never did I factor in growth in my uterine cavity.

I rushed out of the office to get to my doctor's appointment where I was to have a full body checkup. I walked into the consulting room, laying on the table as the doctor had asked and she began to check my stomach, her hand went over my lower abdominal region a couple of times as she asked some questions which I responded to, and the next thing I heard her say was “I think you’ve got fibroids, I will request an ultrasound so we can have a look and see what’s going on in there.”
 Saying I was petrified didn’t cut it. Prior to this day I never had any knowledge of what that was I had only known it to be associated with many pregnancy failures and complication stories and I thought being twenty-four meant I wasn’t old enough to be diagnosed with this type of thing. The next few minutes were a blur as I got the ultrasound and there it was a 6cm x 5cm little "Grapefruit" growing in my uterus.

I took out my phone to call my sister who is a medical doctor, with tears in my eyes, I said"Yuby,  the doctor said I have Uterine fibroids" she tried to calm me down and explained how it was a common thing as a lot of women have fibroids and it wasn't necessarily a potential life treat unless the symptoms became unbearable to handle. I spent the next couple of days on google, trying to gather all the information I could on this "new thing" I had growing inside my body.
I couldn't follow through on the "do not google your symptoms" advice. My fear intensified, my heart sunk deeper, My mind went to action to create all possible worse scenarios of how this will play out. I finally decided to pray, (not like praying was my last option, It was my first option, I had prayed at the hospital from the time the doctor asked to do an ultrasound until I had one done, I said a prayer under my breath. I needed God to take this away, I cried and kept hope that I would wake up the next day and realize it was all the dream.

My first menstruation was at Twelve, I used to be one of those people who used their quantity of flow and length of period to look down on those with the regular 3-4 days periods, meanwhile deep down I wished I was like them (LOL). My periods were a nightmare as it came with pains and it was always heavy and lasted for longer days. In the beginning, Ibuprofen was my go-to pain killer but after years of using this drug, my body no longer responded to it. I also grew up and mastered the pain and my threshold for pain increased, and I got more conscious of handling the heavy flows, making sure I wasn’t leaving stains on my dresses, bed-sheets or wherever I sat on.

I had these symptoms but never did I link them to having uterine fibroids. Day after day I prayed for God to take them away but nothing change until one day during my quiet time  He said to me “ This fibroid is for the glory of God”. I decided to let it be and carry on with my life. I moved to Poland for my master's degree program shortly after and the stress of school work was so much that soon I forgot I had this little grapefruit growing in me.

June 2019

Thankfully summer was here and the first semester was over, it was time to unwind, wear less big clothes and taking in the sun and it’s goodness.

This hot afternoon, I laid with my back to the bed when I then noticed my tummy bulge up, I thought my reckless eating habits had caused me to have a food bump, I robbed my stomach but there was something odd about it, this was no food bump!  This was my little "Grapefruit" beginning to grow into a "Melon". I hurriedly booked an appointment with a hospital. I had another ultrasound done, as I looked at the black and white images on the screen, the doctor tried to explain, even with the mix of Polish and English languages I already knew that this was no good news as there were more fibroids with the initial one becoming  9cm x 8cm in size.  The doctor asked me to go see a gynaecologist and try to get expert advice on how to proceed with the discoveries but then again I didn’t have the medical insurance to afford the services of a gynaecologist so I took the results again and went home in tears.

This was when I intensified praying and having faith for this thing to disappear. I needed a miracle,

October 2019

This Tuesday afternoon, a normal day to juggle my school and work scheduled. I had finished with my classes and got on a bus to work. I began to feel a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, I wasn’t on my period so I thought maybe the pain was hunger-related because I hadn’t eaten. The pain intensified but I tried to play tough, I had managed to hold it together on the bus ride until I got to the bus stop and realized I couldn’t walk because of the pain, I bent over and grabbed my phone to call for help. Thankfully, by this time I had a job that could cover my health insurance so I  got an appointment to see a gynaecologist because I knew this pain had to be this "Thing" growing inside of my body. 

I did the scans and told the doctor of my underlying health challenge, she responded: “It’s really big now it’s now about 10cm X 9cm and it’s pressing against your bladder that’s why you seem to be peeing too frequently and the pain you are experiencing as well.” She advised I took Ibuprofen to stop the pain but that I needed to go to a specialist hospital and discuss my option on how to handle it given its growth rate in the past months.

“ This fibroid is to the glory of God” the little voice in my head reminded me.

February 2020

By this time a year had passed since I first discovered the uterine fibroids. I had read about different treatment options, from changing my diet to taking traditional herbs, to undergoing different surgical procedures. I finally settled to have a myomectomy (an open surgery where the fibroids will be taken out from the uterus)  similar to having a cesarean section only that rather than a baby they will be bringing out the fibroids. By this time the biggest one was 14cm x 12cm in size, (bigger than my fist) and it sat pressing in on the Uterus, the doctors said the surgery may or May not require the removal of my uterus completely. They discovered 5 other “Baby balls” as well and then the alarms came on in my head when they said one ovary was no longer in sight and somehow this was all supposed to be to the glory of God!?

I got admitted and ready to have the surgery. I still had faith and prayed that I wouldn’t need to do surgery; as the doctors will examine and not see anything but as time past, my faith grew really thin for this option.
 I prepared for surgery and I came to that place that I was no longer afraid because I trusted God. whatever needed to be done had to be done, I signed off the consent form which had that I was going in for myomectomy with possible hysterectomy (removal of the womb) My mind was made that with or without the possibility of having children in the future I will still walk with God.

 8th February 2020

Two days to surgery day and I laid on the hospital bed with my headphones plugged in listening to my worship playlist as the song “oceans” came up and there He spoke again “ I don’t want you to doubt my ability to heal you. It’s good you have come to a place where you are ready to accept whatever outcome but most importantly this is it, this is the place you asked that I take you to, where your feet would not normally wander to, where your heart would be strengthened, where your faith has no boundaries as you have no control and nothing to hold on to other than to hold your gaze at me. Biwom this is the place where you see that the fibroid is to My Glory. I brought you to this place. And quit expecting nonsense like the possibility of not having kids. Rest child, rest here and I will take it from here. It is I your Father and I am in control.”

I couldn’t sleep after this, I stayed awake and typed this story so you could read and see how and where God took me to.

Today, 10th April 2020 

Exactly Two Months Post-surgery, I am beyond convinced that My experience was/is to God's glory. I have a 12cm long scar across my stomach. A reminder of the battle I overcame. I struggled with posting this article as it is very personal but then again I am always here sharing these bible stories about other people's adventures, struggles, fears, doubts in their walk with God, so Its only right I put mine out here for you to read. Your faith grows in the midst of storms. If there's nothing like darkness how do you appreciate light? 

In this season of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty I want you to be encouraged knowing that even in It God is still in control and we will all get through it.

Christ says "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27 NIV"

Stay Home, Stay Safe 

with love,

Awhobeeworm