Rape, Incest,Murder

              

        Rape,Incest, Murder

           

        Growing up I always felt like a city surrounded with armies to protect her, this was because I was the only daughter amongst twenty children my father had. It was a blessing having nineteen brothers all protecting and constantly pampering me. Apart from being Daddy’s little princess, I had nineteen princes showering me with love. It didn’t matter the differences our mothers had when it came to me all my brothers didn’t remember that we had different birth mothers. I was to be loved and protected that was all that it was.

My brother Absalom always turned red if any of his friends teased or even smiled at me. I remember this one time I visited his chambers and he had friends over, there was this particular guy who couldn’t keep his eyes off me. We exchanged a few glances and smiles until Absalom noticed, He screamed at me to leave while he grabbed his friend by the throat and started to give him heavy punches. I never saw the guy again but rumours had it that Absalom had broken the young man’s jaw and ribs, he was left badly injured and was told never to come to the palace again. This sent a message across town and no man ever dared to look in my direction. What did I care? I was a princess only fitted for a prince and in the future, a prince from the neighbouring town will come bearing gifts and ask my father, the king for my hand.

 Amnon was my favourite brother, we spent a lot of time together and had no secrets between us. I told him everything, from the silliest things to every single detail of whatever I was up to. We had a bond that I didn’t have with the other eighteen, this was probably because he was my eldest brother. As a child I ran around the palace, pranking the maids and getting in trouble after and Amnon always came to the rescue when this happened. I and Amnon had gotten attached over the years. One of the few places I would easily be found if I wasn’t in my chambers was at Amnon’s chambers. 

Years had passed and I was no longer a little girl, I was now a woman groomed to act like a queen. I had been taught to walk with my head high, to smile, walk and talk like a queen. Each time I saw Amnon I felt like a little girl again, I was free to be myself around him and that was what I liked the most about his company.

I was preparing for bed as I sat in front of the mirror brushing my hair and dressed in my cream coloured night robe when the maid approached my chambers looking worried. “Princess Tamar” she called out. I made a hand gesture for her to come in. She bowed and said, ” Prince Amnon has fallen very ill and requests that you cook his favourite dish and take it to him.”

I jumped up, hurriedly made Amnon’s meal and took it to his chambers. I kept wondering what illness had suddenly come on him as I had been at his chambers a few hours earlier. Just by Amnon’s chambers I saw his friend Jonadab and I asked what was wrong but he insisted I go in and talk to Amnon myself. I entered and saw Amnon on the bed covered with a blanket, I dropped the food on the table but he insisted I fed him. I sat on the side of the bed beside him using my hand to feel the temperature of his body. Amnon asked all the servants to leave the room, they all bowed and left us alone. 

His face brightened up “ My dearest Tamar!” He spoke as his hands cupped my face. “What is wrong with you Amnon, why are you laying in bed?” I asked with my hand still pressed on his head. His temperature was normal and it was odd. He looked into my eyes with his hand tightly gripping mine and said  “Tamar, you are the reason I am lying on this bed. I am sick from the years I have had to hide how I really feel about you. I am in love with you Tamar and I can no longer keep this to myself.”

“No Amnon! You can’t be in love with me. I am your sister” I got up and tried to let go from his grip but his grip tighten.

“ Tamar I know you are burning up with desire for me too, I see it every time. Lie with me let’s put an end to all this tension between us” he said as he stood up and held me even closer.

“No Amnon, this is wrong. Don’t do such a wicked thing to your own sister” I struggled even harder. He pushed me to the bed and I cried out “ this is a shame Amnon, just ask the king about this and he will let you marry me but do not do this please” he pressed his body against mine ripping my robe from my body. I struggle from under him hitting his body with every strength I had but he was just too powerful. “I love you, Tamar, look at how beautiful your body is,” he said as he kissed my neck and forced his way in. I screamed but no one came, I cried but my beloved brother didn’t stop. With every thrust, I felt even more pained. It wasn’t the pain of being deflowered, it was a pain of betrayal, a pain of a brother’s love gone cold. I struggled until I had exhausted the last strength in me. When he was done he got up with rage in his eyes “Get out! Get out now.” I cried even more “ No! No Amnon, sending me out now is much worse than what you have done to me.” He shouted even louder “Get out of my chambers” he screamed for the servants “ take this woman out of my chambers now” I was dragged out like filth with no dignity left. My brother whom I once loved more than anyone had stripped me off of everything I was. I laid on the floor wailing and completely torn apart. I had been raped by my own blood. 

Was this my fault? 

Maybe I never should have gone to visit my brother late at night. 

Maybe I should have worn more decent clothing.

Maybe I never should have trusted him.

Maybe I never should have been so free with him.

But he was not just my brother he was also my friend.

I have now become a city left for ruins after a battle with no walls to guard and no armies to protect.

Who then will fight against this injustice done to me?

I dragged myself through my misery all I felt was the shame. My brother Absalom soon heard of what Amnon had done to me. He ran towards where I laid and tried to lift me up but I shouted at him not to touch me. I could see the rage in his eyes “ He did this to you! Our own brother did this to you” he said with a few tears dropping down his eyes “leave me alone! I am no sister of his” I cried out. Absalom sat on the floor and comforted me “ please Tamar keep quite about this. I will handle this I promise. Amnon must pay for this evil thing he has done” Absalom asked his servants to take me to his chambers. I and Absalom had the same mother so I let his servants take me in. The news got to my father, King David but he did nothing about it, why would he? Amnon was his first child and heir to the throne. He didn’t want a scandal attached to the next king. Each day passed and no one mentioned the incident, soon everyone carried on with their lives like nothing had happened while I ended up being more depressed day after day. Absalom resented Amnon and said no words to him for years. He had nursed hatred for Amnon in his heart and will pay him when he least saw it coming.

Time had passed and soon no one remembered me. Absalom decided to throw a party and he invited all my other brothers including Amnon. All the servants had worked hard to make sure the feast was one befitting to kings. Absalom asked his servants to serve his brothers the best wine and to make sure their cups were constantly full.

Hours later they all gathered to feast, Amnon walked in and I caught a glimpse of him from where I hid behind the curtains. I had gotten too familiar with hiding in the shadows. Tears came pouring again as I saw him walking about, eating, drinking, and being merry. I couldn’t stand there and watch all of them celebrating and acting like I never existed. I walked away to my room and wept even louder.

The party was going well and most of the guests were already drunk. Absalom called one of his servants aside and whispered in his ear “kill him now.” The servants went to pour more wine into Amnon’s cup and then he brought out a knife and stabbed him over and over. Absalom watched as Amnon struggled with life. Everyone at the table fled. I heard screams and I ran towards the noise. I saw Amnon sitting lifeless with blood gushing out.

“He is gone now, sister. I told you I will handle it. He has finally paid for all what he did to you” Absalom said as he walked away.  
I stood watching his lifeless body as lust had grown into raped and incest and now ended up in cold gruesome murder. My father's house had been torn apart by a series of scandals and it all started with a thing Lust. 

Reference: 2 Samuel 13